When talking about wine, all people hear is that you're pretentious

You can't help it.

You could talk all night long about who's got the best pizza in town, about the largest crab cake you just devoured, or go in detail about this hulking, porterhouse steak that rocked your world the other night, but start the same dialogue about wine, and all of a sudden, the pretentiousness comes out.

Why? I have no idea, but wine = pretentious.

I have, unfortunately, annoyed, offended, and bored to death numerous friends, acquaintances, family, and dinner guests with long diatribes concerning wine. Whether it be different, exotic grape varietals, or new, evolving growing regions, and the differences between oak aged compared to stainless, or just particular vintages of note and disaster, and I have learned through it all to stop talking about wine and just smile, nod, and keep my mouth shut.

When it comes to wine, any and all conversation about it leads to the pretentious zone. It's safer, even if someone is genuinely interested in it, just to drink and talk about the food.

Here is a great article that had me laughing:

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/low_concept/2012/01/calvin_trillin_offers_a_new_way_of_measuring_pretentiousness.html

Playoffs! Put down the beer and grab this wine!

Yes, our beloved Ravens are in the playoff once again, and this time, they mean business. Hell, this could be the year where they take it all the way to the promised land.

Parties, festivities, and bbq's are all being planned as we speak to celebrate and cheer on our team to victory. I'm sure you already got the beer lined up, but what you really need is a wine that was built for football.

Behold the 132 Seam Go!!!

Yes, a smooth and delicious Merlot that will accommodate all your desires, go with all your dishes, and make everyone happy.

Come in and grab some before gametime.

Go Ravens!

Come to the fire, Baby, & bring the damn wine!

Brrrrrr,

so cold outside. A cold that makes your bones feel brittle and your joints rusty.

Time to settle on down by the warm, crackling fire and open up a nice, seductive red to revive your soul and rejuvenate your essence.

Nothing beats a hearty, full-bodied red this time of year, so when you're in need of one, come on down to Swirl, and we'll match the perfect wine for you.

"What wine will do the trick?" You ask.

"What wine will bring back the hot, steamy romance that's been missing?"

Of course, we could set you up on a rendezvous with a California Cabernet, maybe a sexy Italian Tuscan blend, or an exotic Southern French red might entice you.

There's some fire in these bottles that will heat you up quite nicely.

We'll see you soon.

Another recycle bin full of delicious memories

I always wonder...

every time I walk our recycle bin to the end of the driveway, what the trashman thinks when he makes his stop to collect our accumulated mass of bottles, that's clinking and brimming to the top.

"Damn, these people are alcoholics"

The second thought that goes through my mind is, where the hell are our neighbors buying the booze they're putting out for recycling?

They better come to Swirl!!!

Stock up for Halloween, if you dare...

Come in and get some great deals for your Halloween party.

We got it all.

Beer,

Liquor,

and a few bottles of

wine to choose from.

Unattended children will be given a zombie friend

We want your experience here, at Swirl Wine, to be nothing short of spectacular, so we went the extra mile for you and your kids. Little baby zombies are the perfect playmates for your precious ones. We know how hard the daily grind can be, constantly and prudently watching over your little demon, it wears you down. So come in, find yourself the most perfect bottle of wine, while our little zombie watches over your loved one.

(Swirl is not legally responsible for any zombie attacks or zombie infection that may occur)

Perhaps the new Swirl?

I love it.

What a great idea.

Now, time to implement it.