My life for the past nine months has been driven by the three P's of parenthood. Pee, Puke, and Poop.Oh yes, the glamorous life of being a parent. These days I feel like I won the lottery if I scrounge up enough time to blow dry my hair. I have not blow dried my hair in two months. Whenever I come across a perfectly coiffed mommy, I have to resist the overwhelming urge to poke her eyes out. I mean really? Come on! Let me tell you about my morning.
After the morning chaos of breakfast for hubby, breakfast for baby, a nibble of toast for mommy, doing the dishes, throwing a load of laundry in, and figuring out the logistics of the day. It's bath time for baby. Baby does not care that mommy has five other things to do before attempting to get ready for work. After undressing the little rug rat she promptly pees all over the changing table and my slippers. When I let out a surprised yelp, she simply grins her bugs bunny grin adoringly at me. For those who are not yet blessed with your own bundle of joy, this is nothing new. Expect to be peed on at least once a week. Then comes the puke.
Freshly scrubbed and outfitted in her new ladybug themed outfit, she grins and spits up all over said ladybug outfit. At least this is better then yesterday when her spit up landed in my mouth. Had I known that grandma recently fed baby a bottle, I would have known not to play airplane with baby. Coulda, shoulda, woulda.
On to outfit number two!
Finally, baby is dressed and ready for a new day! Time for mommy to jump in the shower and, oh man, really?! Grinning baby girl has an atomic poop and destroys outfit number two. Oh yes, the glamorous life of parenthood.
Austin
ahahahah oh dear! She is soooooo cute though :) :)
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